LA Traffic : the Musical

New Look

I have a Confession

Okay, so most of my life, I have had an intense-passionate affair, bordering on obsession, with Daytime Television. I say "Daytime Television" because I think it sounds more sophisticated than "Soap Operas," but it is to indeed to that genre that I refer.

I blame my mother. It all started when I was four and she 
was pregnant with my sister. We were home alone near the end of the pregnancy and for the first part of my sister's life. My mom would let me watch soaps so long as I closed my eyes during the sex scenes. (Might I add that during this time she also got me hooked on peanut butter, marshmallow cream, and banana sandwiches!

When I was seven, my Air-Force family moved to Okinawa, Japan. We only had ONE American tv station : FEN, the Far East Network, on which only two Soap Operas aired : General Hospital and Guiding Light. My mom had watched all ABC soaps since their first episodes, but never Guiding Light. She embraced GL (which would later cause her to have to make an agonizing decision).

However, she was not able to let go of the other two ABC soaps: All My Children and One Life to Live and being ever-resourceful found a solution; the local japanese video store rented American Soap Operas, in volumes. It took her weeks of trial and error to get somewhere in the ballpark of where she had left her stories across the Pacific Ocean. Finally, we were back on track. I loved that she rented them because I could watch them after school and on the weekends, as there weren't too many tv options with the one channel and all. Then came another devastating blow : for legal-copyright-law-kind-of-reasons, the japanese stores were no longer able to rent the soaps. Again, my ever-resourceful mother found a solution. She allied with her sister who taped every show on VHS, every day for months at a time, and then mailed them to my mother, who would watch them, and then return the tapes to be re-recorded. (They had two sets of tapes) My mother and her sister continued this for the entire five-year period we lived in Okinawa.

I would get up 2 hours before the bus left so I could watch AMC and OLTL. I only got to see GH and GL when I was home from school and during the summer. (I still don't know if my mother ever realized that I would always get sick on the Monday after a Friday-night dinner when she would tell me how exciting one of the shows was getting.)

My obsession was not limited to Daytime Soap Operas, I also LOVED Dynasty and Dallas. My father was not as understanding of my love for soaps as my mother and would never let me stay up to watch them. Little did he know, there was no stopping me! My older brother is the soundest sleeper of all time. Being the oldest, he also inherited my parents old-turn-dial-black-and-white tv. After I knew he was asleep, I used to sneak into his room, turn on his tv, with the volume down, and listen to the tv from downstairs. I always had plenty of time to rush back to my room while my parents locked up. It was a flawless system and I was never caught.

When we returned to the US, I was entering the seventh grade. I only had one friend, Ricki Sparrow. He was a soap watcher too, also because of his mother, except he watched NBC shows. I had never had any exposure to that network, so it was fun going to his house after school and learning all about Salem and how Jack raped Jennifer in the 80's but now they were lovers.

It was also at this time that my mother made a difficult choice that greatly impacted both of us. GH and GL both air at 3pm. She had to decide which show was going to be recorded. She chose GL. I still think it was a mistake.

As I entered high school, I was often too busy to dedicate hours to soap viewing, but I would race through them, catching all of the plot points and twists. I worked at a grocery store during college and while it was slow, I read every line of every Soap Opera Magazine. I studied. I learned all of the executive producers, all of the head writers, all of the moves and shake ups.

Near the end of my Sophomore year of college, I began to freak the flip out about what I was going to do with my life. I went to my adviser and began to express my anxiety.

"Kid," she said, "if you could do anything, what would you do?" "Well, if I had enough money--"

"--no," she interrupted me, "There's no money in dreams; if you could do anything, what would it be." 

"I'd move to NYC and write for AMC"

"You write?!"

"No, but I think I could."

"You're taking my playwriting class in the Fall."

And I did. I excelled in the class. The play I wrote was ultimately produced my senior year. With that play and another that I wrote for an independent study, I applied to grad school.

Throughout grad school, I maintained that I'd like to start my career in daytime. When people would scoff, I was ready :

"Daytime is the only genre on television that truly takes risks : the first lesbian, the first interracial couple, the first character with AIDS, etc etc etc."

"Daytime is all about Aristotle's Reasonable Suspension of Disbelief; you have to enter the world to truly understand."

"Change the minds of housewives across America and you change America."

For a class, I had to adapt Oedipus to a Modern story; I worked it into the framework of AMC, with Erica Cane as my Oedipus.

Near the end of my time three-year stint in grad school, it seemed kismet that I stumbled upon an internship program that would place me directly in the offices of NBC daytime. I was sure the fates had swooped down and were hand-delivering my dream on a silver platter.

The delusion quickly lifted. My first day as intern was unbearably boring. I was just answering phones and reading old scripts. I couldn't take it. I went to Fran, the office manager, and begged her for something real to do. She set me up with a meeting with the Senior VP of Daytime Television at NBC. I explained to him my passion, my drive, my talent, and begged him to use me.

Well, use me he did. 

This was the time that NBC had acquired Telemundo, and they were thinking of producing their own Soap Operas, as opposed to importing them from Spanish-speaking countries. Only problem was that the Daytime machine had been so lubricated that no one really knew how it worked anymore. That was my job : to trace and document the journey of daytime, from start to finish. I went above and beyond the call of duty. I set up interviews all of the the lot, to find out, in detail, what exactly each person's role in the process was.

I did not like what I found out. I discovered that there was little to no collaborative creativity. Each show has one head writer, who decides the direction of the story (based on what executives want to see) and then gives story progressions to five (one for each day of the week) outline writers who then give their outlines to the five script writers, who then give their scripts to a continuity writer who edits them to make it seem like one voice. All of this is done over email.

In one summer of realization, my entire dream of daytime fizzled. I accepted what everyone had always told me : that soaps are bad television with bad writing and bad actors. I quit. Cold turkey.

In the last five years, I've maybe seen ten episodes of any give Soap.

But, last week I accidentally discovered that ABC is putting full episodes of GH online. I watched one. I was hooked. They are doing an Arc story line, where they start with a huge drama that clearly affects the entire canvas (that's what you call the clusters of characters in daytime) and then flash, "8 hours before."  So, now I have seen the "eight hours" that led up to the drama and the last episode I watched, we had reached the drama.

So, I'm once again watching a soap. I will actually, seriously, watch today's episode when I'm done with this blog, even though I should go to sleep. A sure sign that addictions truly never go away; they just rest beneath the surface.

Mr Blom Guestblogs about being a personal eyewear shopper for Mr Herb

Ok, Mr Herb is buying glasses. I know which ones I like, GAH, they're
just so I can't live without you. Is he going with the ad executive look
from DKNY, the Harry Potter/Jewish accountant a la Ralph Lauren or the
Hollywood look by the pool at Chateau Marmont with Versace?

What is the Historical Significance of the Internet ?

3-Minute Bloopers

3-Minute Cooking Show : Zone Sloppy Joes

The Wrestler

The Wrestler is a really well-acted, believable movie. It feels so real and genuine and Mickey Rourke's character arc is quite spectacular, yet so simple; the story unfolds naturally through character-driven choices and consequences for those choices. Also of note is Evan Rachel Wood's moving performance as Rourke's estranged-heart-broken-and-hardened daughter. She gives a well-layered, moving performance. I definitely recommend this movie. 

Mickey Rourke certainly deserves the Oscar nomination, though I'm still not sure who has my vote. I've seen all of the movies with the Lead Actor nominees except Frost/Nixon, which I will see soon. It is a really great year for quality Acting Performances, and I'm totally torn, with one exception : I do NOT believe Brad Pitt should have even been nominated. Benjamin Button is a good movie, but his performance is not Oscar Worthy.

What do you think?

After Hours

Tell Me : What do you Want?

I'm starting a little contest of my own!!

Send me embarrassing, funny, quirky, or unique situations in which you'd like me to place myself with my flip.

You can leave your submissions in the comment section of this post, or email them to marc.herb@yahoo.com, or send me a message on Facebook!

Submissions will be accepted for the next week! The selections will then be narrowed down by a trusted panel (NOT me!) and then the nominees will be voted upon by you, my readers!

And, then, I will do WHATEVER it is that you will have me do and post it to my blog!

Exciting!!

One Step Closer to Fame

**Click on the photo to Enlarge**

Happy Inauguration Day!!!!

Working Hard for the Money

movie by Angelina Nyström

Miley Cyrus @ Trader Joe's

Watch the D R A M A  at Trader Joe's when Miley stops by!

I think she is adorable and I like that she stopped for, without hesitation or attitude, every fan that approached her.

Behind Every Great Woman is a Great Man

Yes, it's true : we are dating.

3-Mintue Cooking Show : Zone Lasagna

Happy-Go-Lucky

I understand why Sally Hawkins won the Golden Globe for her portrayal of Poppy in Happy-Go-Lucky; she is amazing! The movie is a wonderful pick-me up, and I highly recommend seeing it. I actually plan to own this movie because I feel like it's one that I'll be able to watch a million times and still find something fresh, new, and exciting. The performances are all so vibrantly layered that I question how much of the movie was scripted and how much was developed through improved character development. The acting is so good, simple, natural. This movie makes me very happy and I think it will make you happy too!

Lust & Caution

HerbWorks Productions

Presents

A new Blog-Opera

"Lust & Caution", Episode one

technical difficulties

just want ya'll to know I am trying to post a new video.  For some reason I can't upload it from youtube and it is driving me crazy.

i'm also going to get fired because i skipped away from work to try again and have been absent for 30 minutes. Hopefully no one has noticed.

argh.

MARC IS ASLEEP, WELL KINDA!

He is quiet now, so I sneak in and update a little, by accident my
computer goes on and it starts playing some loud news cast, I shut it
down superquick. Yet Marc wakes up, I think, he looks like he is going
to cry and screams in his sleep? -Nooooooo, I can't get up, I can't get
up, I will die! He then crashes, goes back to sleep, it was funny,
should I wake him up again, haha.

I've Loved You So Long

I knew nothing about this movie, just that Kristin Scott Thomas was the lead. I didn't even know it was a french movie until it started.

I am so grateful that I didn't know anything about this movie because the experience would have been ruined had I known any part of the story. So, I will not tell you any part of the story because I don't want to ruin your experience. I would encourage you to stop reading anything (save my blog) in regard to this movie, because the movie could easily be summed up in a concise sentence : it is about . . .

But, that one sentence is so beautifully and craftily unfolded with such delicacy and arts-man-ship in to a stunning movie. 

"I've Loved You So Long" inspires me to want to be able to write a screenplay the way "Angels in America" inspired me to want to learn to write plays and "Opening Night" by John Cassavetes inspired me to want to learn how to be a filmmaker. 

Go see it! So we can talk about it!!

3-Minute Cooking Show : Zone Taco Soup

Taco Soup :

It's On!

Today is officially my first smoke-free day. I was actually supposed to keep smoking for a few more days, according to the website, but I wasn't getting any pleasure whatsoever from smoking, so I decided not buy another pack.

This coincides with my decision to jump, full-force, back in to the zone.

Just wanted to give those of you who aren't familiar with the Zone a quick introduction. The Zone diet was created by Dr. Barry Sears. In it's original form, the diet requires one to be a mathematician to create meals :

Of your total calories :

40% from carbohydrates

30% from lean protein

30% from good fats

I was introduced to a book called The Formula : a 40-30-30 Fat-Burning Nutrition Program written by Gene and Joyce Dauost. The Dauosts worked directly with Dr. Sears, using the Zone diet on clients at their fitness center. The book is a simplified version of the Zone, in that they have already done the math, created delicious recipes, and a portion guide (usually more than i can eat!).  There is even a fast food guide in the book for those times when you have to eat on the go.

I can attest, from personal experience, that the diet works. How does it work? For the sake of this explanation, imagine your body has only two hormones : glucagon and insulin. insulin is the fat-storing hormone and glucagon is the fat-burning hormone. When you eat your meals in the 40-30-30 ratio, the chemicals in your body are manipulated to increase glucagon and decrease insulin, meaning your body begins to burn fat for fuel. So, not only will you lose weight, you will also create lean muscle.

Last night, I took a "Before" video, which I will compile with clips taken over the next few months when I post "Results Reveal". In the meanwhile, I will post one recipe a week for the next several weeks on the Three Minute Cooking Show!

Looking forward to sharing my progression with you and knowing you're out there, will help keep me focused and disciplined! Thanks for being here, ya'll.

 

Delayed Resolution

Ok, so I know I'm a week late with this New Year's resolution thing, but, like with everything, I have to do things in my own time. I've decided to once again tackle the demon of cigarettes.

I quite smoking in 2002 and stayed smoke-free (nary even a drag) until may of 2007. I know, I know : five years?! How could I ever start smoking again?! Well, it's true what they say about addicts and addictions; it never goes away and you really do have to take it one day at a time.

I have wanted to quit again, basically since I re-started, but knowing how hard the last time was has made me hesitant to begin the process. I'm not sure I'm really ready even now. But, tonight, my friend gave me some pills that help with the blocking of receptors or something. When she gave them to me, she told me how expensive they were and that when I was ready, I should take it seriously (all smokers know the flippant I'm-gonna-quit-but-not-really routine). Something clicked, and I just felt like if not now, when? There will never be a convenient time to quit. And, really I hate the word quit because I really thought I had quit the last time. One day at a time, I will make a choice, and for now, my choice is to put down the fags.

I also figured going public like this will hold me more accountable to actually stopping. Again.

Wish me luck!

The big ole big ole big BIG ole water

Five years ago, I wrote a book.

Here's a voiced excerpt, and also one of my favorite moments ever :

Don't Judge

Happy New Year!!!!!